Bearing Witness

Someone emailed me today to ask if and how they can contribute to this blog so:


If you have a good idea about Child Welfare Reform or how to improve all or part of the existing system let me know. If you would like to let me and therefor the world know about your family’s experiences with, or at the hands of The Child Protective Services send me an email. I will be happy to report on your experiences.



A few rules apply. I will post stories that may help a family separated by CPS or CYS reconnect with adult children. I will do the same for adult children trying to locate their birth family.

I restrict this service to adult children because none of us need the police knocking on the door with a complaint arising out of Custodial Interference. If there is a situation where a family member is dying or is seriously ill I may, after consulting my legal advisers, make an exception.
I will provide the same service for children in care that have been emancipated.

I may chose to post your story unedited if you follow the guidelines, below I also may edit it. I will let you read my edits before I post. I am flexible if you have a reason why I should leave something I’ll listen. After a discussion I may agree with you or I may agree to post but with a disclaimer.

1. If you ARE an actual abuser I am not interested in helping you defend or justify yourself . By abuser I don't mean that you are an abuser just because CPS or CYS says you are, or a judge has founded the CPS case, you are listened in Central registry, or even if there are or were criminal charges. If you had a drug or alcohol problem and have gotten some help and CPS isn’t giving you another chance I will help you. Every one deserves at least a second chance and CPS gives itself a second, third, fourth, and ninety-ninth chances to get it right all of the time. The same applies if you did “loose it “ and hit your kids but are working hard not to do it again and are willing to get what you need for your kids to be with you safely.


By abuser I mean if you did beat, murder ,rape your children and are unrepentant and unchanged don’t bother me or waste space that can go to a more deserving family. I am willing refer you to the resources that can get you some help some help. There are some things that are so clear cut and so bad that the is NO excuse and there can be no second chances except for the kids to get another (hopefully) abuse free life. My standards for this are pretty high but something like your initials branded on to a child or a DNA test that says, yes, you did father your ten-year-olds baby will do it every time.




2. I do not get involved in custody disputes that are strictly and solely between family members, period. And don’t even THINK about involving CPS to get a custody advantage. Not only might this backfire, it takes resources away from kids who ARE being abuses or neglected. If you bring CPS or CYS down on your own head by your own stupidity , making false accusations, you will have to live with it for the rest of your life and so will your children. I am not saying abuse never happens in the course of a custody dispute because I know it does. If it does, you need to talk to your lawyer first and they will help you report it. I am saying DON’T make crap up and don’t let any one else.



3. I reserve the right to conceal the identity of children, particular when there are allegations of sexual assault.Upon request I may conceal the identify of the entire family or a witness.



4. I may in the interest of being objective ask for permission to talk to the other side. Who knows they may say something damning or the fear of seeing their names in print might motivate them to do some good.



5. In the interests of maintaining credibility I will not use and will edit out language that compares or labels CPS workers and agencies to Nazis or Witch Hunters . For excellent reasoning on the why and wherefore of this see Richard Wexler’s post in the National Collation For Child Protection Reform Blog. Wednesday, September 17, 2008 "Leave Hitler out of it: I don’t completely agree with Mr. Wexler I feel that there are some people in the different agencies that enjoy the power to hurt children, who are power and control freaks or who are settling unfinished business with their own parents, but he is right.

AND:

Invoking some of these arguments make us look like deranged fanatics and make people wonder if maybe we aren’t quit fit to have children.


Excessive anger frightens people. I know I it is hard. THEY TOOK YOUR KIDS! They took mine too. I have been there and I still hate those people. I have stopped reading the obituary column every day hoping to see a familiar name. Find a creative way to get rid of the anger. Think about the way you will spend the 100000 million dollars you are going to sue them for. I am going to buy the Centre County Court House and turn it into a low-income housing project for falsely accused families. The free sushi bar is going in the Judges Chambers. I’ll probably store the trash in J. former ADA Karen Arnold’s old office. I used to fantasize ( note I am saying fantasize) about telling the Trial Judge when my family was awarded that 100000 million dollars that CYS could keep it money if I could have 15 minuets alone with each one of them in a locked sound proof room (with a baseball bat ) Most parents understand being angry if you keep it under control and redirect it. You can even start your families story by saying how angry you are . Just remember


Even justifiable anger gives reporters and politicians an excuse to run as fast as they can as far as they can. Think of it as doing what you have to do to get your story out and in some cases your kids back.

Save the ranting for when we are alone darling.